i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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