It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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