break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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