Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have post one night stand depression
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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