6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
