Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my being single is dangerous.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
is it fun? or sober?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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