Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

(1-907): View more from Alaska

5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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(847): View more from Illinois

No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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(631): View more from New York

I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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(224): View more from Illinois

At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,

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(907): View more from Alaska

Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.

(415): View more from California

If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.

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