allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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