everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
