You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
