Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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