omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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