Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
