good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
