Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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