I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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