That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
