my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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