didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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