Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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