Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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