My nipple is on Facebook.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
