Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

can u grab me a application

Fav 11 2980 665
share tweet
(+64): View more from New Zealand

apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

Fav 36 4544 917
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

Fav 57 7686 1975
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me

Fav 20 7689 1607
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands

(845): View more from New York

i made a dollar

Fav 7 4013 1712
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

Fav 9 1943 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(984): View more from North Carolina

i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.

Fav 22 4660 1366
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?

Fav 4 494 380
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle

Fav 0 157 282
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT