My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
