Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Whatever it was. it was pregnant.

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  (304): Whatever it was. it was pregnant. http://tfl.nu/utv2
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (4701)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.

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  (520): normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees. http://tfl.nu/d0ki
  Replies (11) Good night (4271) Bad night (1226)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

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  (317): Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good. http://tfl.nu/7ot5
  Replies (2) Good night (3301) Bad night (865)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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  (480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg
  Replies (3) Good night (4075) Bad night (864)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?

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  (405): I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke? http://tfl.nu/as8o
  Replies (14) Good night (2280) Bad night (683)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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  (601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h
  Replies (5) Good night (2117) Bad night (525)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.

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  (208): If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas. http://tfl.nu/e1hv
  Replies (4) Good night (1454) Bad night (477)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the evidence from last night is not good...

  (904): View more from Florida

  what evidence?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...

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  (843): the evidence from last night is not good... (904): what evidence? (843): my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair... http://tfl.nu/ykqm
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (554)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1353) Bad night (622)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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  (435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc
  Replies (11) Good night (1005) Bad night (607)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

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  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
  Replies (7) Good night (995) Bad night (631)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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  (204): I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad. http://tfl.nu/nxn2
  Replies (5) Good night (983) Bad night (400)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pray for you bro.

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  (609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (684)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

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  (989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (342)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.

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  (614): when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs. http://tfl.nu/t3w8
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (371)

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