Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1253) Bad night (5154)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5614) Bad night (1167)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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  (610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j
  Replies (18) Good night (10046) Bad night (889)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.

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  (773): I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced. http://tfl.nu/90fx
  Replies (25) Good night (5477) Bad night (1090)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym

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  (508): It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym http://tfl.nu/opd7
  Replies (27) Good night (3690) Bad night (1246)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2733) Bad night (1058)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz

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  (401): Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz http://tfl.nu/2w6v
  Replies (20) Good night (2974) Bad night (992)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.

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  (502): New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday. http://tfl.nu/wghi
  Replies (6) Good night (2045) Bad night (823)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.

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  (208): booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday. http://tfl.nu/jn9w
  Replies (4) Good night (2231) Bad night (652)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.

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  (318): Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius. http://tfl.nu/se02
  Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (482)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

  (406): View more from Montana

  Midwestern nice.

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  (608): He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!" (406): Midwestern nice. http://tfl.nu/grmw
  Replies (10) Good night (3006) Bad night (806)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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  (417): nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml. http://tfl.nu/44ox
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  This is why I married you.

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  (479): The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning. (479): Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight? (1-479): This is why I married you. http://tfl.nu/g5es
  Replies (4) Good night (2718) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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  (864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (396)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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  (401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse http://tfl.nu/uyp3
  Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (301)

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