My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Acid is not a monday night drug
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.