if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today