Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.