I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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