We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
