capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
