i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
