I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
