Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
