Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
