That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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