Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
