So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
