I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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