Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
