Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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