My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
