The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
