She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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