I only kidnapped one of them. chill
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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