We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
