Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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