can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
