my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
