i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize