Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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