toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
