I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize