I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
