i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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