i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
