remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
