Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
