Christians are straight up FREAKS
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
