I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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