Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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