What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
