I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
