So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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